Everyone Wants a Kiss!
On a recent webinar I conducted Madeline Zarworski offered a wonderful metaphor. In talking of goal setting and goal achievement she raised a valid challenge that many face. Madeline explained, “business is like a relationship. When you kiss someone, you want them to kiss you back. Translating that into a business scenario, when you work hard, you want to see some results come back in your business.”
This is so true and thus we come to a critical issue in reviewing our goal setting and aspirations. What do we do if we feel we are working hard but our business is not “kissing us back?” What if we aren’t getting the results we seek? What if the hard work doesn’t feel like it’s paying off? Here are some suggestions for you to consider to help in this very important subject.
First, what you can’t measure, you can’t manage. Many times we set goals that are not specific enough or measurable enough and as a result, we measure our desire and our effort against an obscure outcome. The more specific you make your activity centered goals the easier it is to identify the little kisses your business gives back to you as you grow. Also, look for the kisses. In business there are many indicators we should keep an eye on to measure progress and improvement. For example: how many appointments did I set this week? How many turned up? How many people have I added to my list this week? How does this compare to last week? Are my conversions improving? We can track a lot of things above the obvious “payable” activity like new signups, customer sales etc. These things are results but what is critical is we measure the things we do that lead us to those results also.
To use a relationship example, I am a tactile person. I like my wife to show me love by giving me hugs and kisses. Kim however likes me to show her love by doing the dishes or taking the kids to school in the morning. For some time I misinterpreted her love language and there was misunderstanding. I would show love in the way I wanted it shown to me and she would do the same. This principle is true of your business also. Your business may have a different love language it is showing you right now so take a closer look at it to see how it is kissing you back. How is it showing you what is working? Look for signs that things are good and look for signs that areas need improving. But don’t get obsessed or preoccupied with the one or two areas that don’t give you what you want and turn that into a reflection of the entire thing. It’s a part of your business not the business as a whole. Seeing things in context and appreciating the ways your business gives back can help you better see your business for what it is as what it isn’t. With this added clarity you are better positioned to make the needed changes.
What is also important to understand here is we shouldn’t make assumptions that what I am doing “should” give me a certain outcome. If it isn’t – it isn’t. End of story. So we need to analyze our activity and adjust it accordingly to bring it in line with what will deliver the results we seek. Don’t get frustrated with a reality that doesn’t exist even if you think it should.
Secondly, to get kissed back, we need proximity. I need to be up close and personal right? Same with business. Too many times we set goals and have measurements that have too wide a gap between where we are and what we are getting. Again, this dangerous word “should” comes into play. Let me explain. Let’s say you’re a Gold and want to become a Platinum. You’ve been in the business for 10 years and this year needs to be your year! This is a serious goal. Your tenure demands it of you. You “should” be further along than you are right? Wrong. Start by accepting that you are where you are and that’s okay. Don’t set goals to impress others, or to impress a false reflection of yourself. Set goals based upon reality. Review the past and honestly acknowledge that what you have done before hasn’t worked for you. Get some help from a mentor and use ABCs more and then focus on smaller steps. These smaller steps are what I refer to with being in closer proximity to your business. Take little steps forward and allow your business to give you little kisses back. For example, rather than saying, “I should be Platinum this year,” change it to, “I am going to make a phone call in the next 30 minutes.” Or, “I’m going to set five appointments over the next two days.” Start there. Measure that. And if you struggle with that – ask for help. Perhaps a kiss back from your business may come in the form of an upline helping you out.
As you focus on smaller steps and do them repeatedly, as you look for and measure progress and improvement and recognise all of the different ways your business can kiss you back you will start to see things improve and will be encouraged to keep moving forward. In time this will be reflected in your check and the big kisses will be worth the effort and focus. Respect the different love languages of your business and all the different ways you can see progress and improvement as you work towards your goals.
Ben & Dave